That's Going to Leave a Mark
by Kale12
Summary: She suddenly wonders if it's possible to be drunk and sober at the same time. Angst-ridden post-CPST ficlet. You have been warned.


Yeah, I'm not making it easy on these two at all.

* * *

There's a steady pounding at her door that startles her from the light doze she'd slipped into. She rubs her eyes, disoriented from the lingering alcohol in her system and the presence of the warm body beside her. Cliff is slack-jawed, snoring, his face relaxed, limbs still wrapped loosely around her where she's settled into the crook of his shoulder. It's oddly comfortable – she likes cuddling, but she usually needs a little space when she's actually sleeping,

The pounding continues, but Cliff doesn't stir, not even as she slides from his embrace, trying not to let the mattress creak as she scoots to the edge of the bed. She's never slept all that well after sex, no matter how good (and turns out – those sexts? Signed, sealed, _delivered_).

Robe secured around her waist, she tiptoes across the wood floors to look through the peephole, and suddenly wonders if it is possible to be drunk and sober at the same time, because Danny Castellano is leaning against the entryway, knocking relentlessly at her door. Avoidance, of course, is her first choice, but the pounding stops just as she steps away from the door, and she freezes.

"I know you're there, Min." His voice is hoarse, muffled.

She's afraid to breathe. The sour flush of adrenaline is making her chest tight.

"_Min_," he says again, this time more forcefully, punctuating her name with another fist to the door.

She unlatches the door before she can stop to think about what she's doing, and she swears she can feel her heartbeat spike. He's slanted against the doorjamb, more weary than casual, but he's got his eyes locked on hers and she's getting the full weight of all the little glances he shoots her when he thinks she's not looking and it's so heavy she could die.

Her awareness of him, of the charged space between them, is overwhelming. He's still in the same dark shirt from the party, top button undone, and she can't look away from the hollow of his throat. She can't move at all. She just lets him step closer, dipping his head until his lips are directly above her ear. His warm breath is like a touch and she's shaking and sweat-drenched all at once.

"Did you let him fuck you yet?" he whispers, and there's a crashing in her ears. She steps back blindly, giving herself over to panic-fueled instinct as the walls go up in her brain. She can't think. She can't. Can't can't can't.

"Oh, no you don't," he growls, shooting out to grab her by the wrist. He hauls her up towards him, and the sharp wrench of pain cuts the through the haze. "Inside or outside?"

"Are you freaking insane?" she finally finds her voice. "What the _hell_ is wrong wi-"

"Inside or out, little girl. I don't give a damn if it's your boy toy or the neighbors listening but I think you might." There's a grim sort of smirk on his face that she hasn't seen before, and that shocks her more than anything. She knows Danny, knows his faces, and where the lines appear around his mouth and eyes when he's laughing or annoyed or upset. This is not that man.

"Fine." She hurries forward, and neither of them miss the sweep of her eyes in the direction of her bedroom. She pulls the door shut behind her and leans against it, instantly regretting the decision. Danny's much too close. He smells so good, like grass and sweat and laundry detergent, and the same cologne he's always worn, for as long as she's known him. But she can't think of any of that right now, because she's stepped into some nightmarish alternate universe and it's taking everything she's got just to keep it together.

"Are you out of your mind, Castellano?" she whispers ferociously. "Is this some drunken cry for help? Because at 3AM, there are hotlines for this shit."

"Didn't waste any time, did you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is that all it takes with you, Min? A few minutes on a rooftop with a decent looking guy? Do you even like this guy, or is it just that easy with you?"

It's a sucker-punch, one that's going to hurt for weeks after. They've never been particularly gentle with one another, but this is new, uglier. She's furious.

"You are such an _asshole_. Are you fucking kidding me? Did you seriously pound on my door in the middle of the night to slut-shame me?"

"No," he barked, throwing his arms out in frustration. "Jesus. I just want to know what goes on in the twisted little head of yours."

"_Not _helping, Danny."

"Then tell me this: why are you with some guy who lets you answer the door in the middle of the night?"

"No one's _letting_ me answer the door to my own goddammed apartment."

"You know what I mean!"

"No, I really don't. He's asleep, _you_ woke me up, and I'm still just hoping this will all turn out to be some bizarre, horrible dream that I can forget in the morning. And if it's not, I'm going to pretend it is."

"I wouldn't be asleep," he bites out. He's not touching her, but he's so close her skin is tingling. He angles down, arms boxing her in on both sides. "If you were in my bed I wouldn't let you leave." His voice is savage, and his words burn clean through her.

Everything is still. The elevator chimes in the background, but it doesn't stop on her floor. For some reason she keeps coming back to the sounds of traffic that waft up through the windows. It's so hard to concentrate when his mouth is so close and his shoulders so straight and it would be so, so easy to press her lips to his throat and find out what he tastes like. "Bullshit," she finds herself saying. "That is exactly what you did. You turned me down cold."

He looks away briefly at that, clenching his jaw and running fingers through his hair. "I won't share, Mindy." He catches her in his gaze again, and finally touches her, running his thumb along the edge of her lips. "I'm losing sleep, I want you so bad. But that means it's going to kill me if there's even a chance you're thinking of someone else."

"But-"

"Don't. Whatever you're going to say, just don't. Let me keep what's left of my pride tonight, Min."

The sort of clarity she's experiencing was meant for small doses – crashing over her the way it is now, it's _painful_.

"I'm sorry for what I said before," he continues, clearing his throat. "I was being a jerk."

"It's ok," she says dully.

"It's not. But I'll make it up to you," he says, and they both know it's true. He steps away from her at last, and it's as though something breaks. She still can't move, just presses herself back against her door. He kisses her forehead and then hesitates, visibly struggling before leaning down towards her mouth. She turns at the last second and he catches her cheek instead. He does a good job of hiding the hurt surprise, only squeezing her arm lightly before turning to go.

"Danny," she calls softly, and he pauses. She doesn't want to say what she does, but she thinks they both need to hear it. "I take really stupid chances on people. And for once, someone took a chance on me and it felt really good. I have to see where this goes."

"Yeah," he sighs, turning away again. "I know."

She reaches for the doorknob but waits, watching as the single most infuriating man she knows walks away. She can't help herself. "Hey, Danny?" she says again.

"Yeah?"

"I take _really_ stupid chances on people."

He looks at her and grins for the first time that night. "I'm counting on it."

She can't help but smile back a little, before escaping back into her apartment, into the real world still waiting for her. She has the feeling this will be the first of many sleepless nights to come.

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Thank you, dear readers/reviewers.


End file.
